These relationships can vary from a childhood friends, colleagues, family unit members or somebody for instance. And no matter how old or young we are; what’s clear is that people have all had relationships that have started and relationships that attended to an end. For these beginnings and endings are section of life.
Now, a few of these might be relationships that people wish had never been started and relationships that people wish had never come to an end. But what life shows us is that people never know how long a relationship will last.
The Relationship That Lasts
However, there’s one relationship that for provided that we live can never come to an end. We might wish it’d end sometimes and deny this relationship at other times, parforhold kommunikation nonetheless, it still exists. And this relationship – is usually the one we’ve with ourselves.
And although our external circumstances can change and our external relationships can end; this can be a relationship that is always ever present and in motion.
What I believed was a great metaphors for explaining this dynamic was a discussion that I’d many years ago with my late father. I used to visit a martial arts club which was a brief drive far from where I lived and this first began when I was at school and ended in my college years.
And to paraphrase that which was said in this conversation: I said something across the lines of; it is was interesting how although I’d left school and other experiences had come and gone in my entire life, what remains is me going to the martial arts club.
I recently seriously considered how this mirrors the connection that people have with ourselves.
The Greatest Rejection
Even though it is feasible for another person to neglect, reject, betray, criticise and abandon us; it can be possible that people are doing these very what to ourselves internally.
We are able to feel overwhelmed and frustrated with one of these external relationships and then, follow that up with the abuse and neglect of ourselves. And something that is certain about life is that not everybody encourage us or respond in ways that validates us.
It’s this that makes it so important that people don’t close the entranceway on the connection that’s the potential to create the maximum joy and fulfilment.
Relationship with Ourselves
The relationships that people have with others will only ever be as good as the connection we’ve with ourselves. It’s highly unlikely which our external relationships will ever surpass our inner relationship.
Whether our life will rise or fall depends on the quality of our relationship with ourself and as an expansion of that – our relationships with others.
And certainly one of reasons why external rejection, abandonment and neglect as an example are so painful is really because these feelings often exist within. They are perspectives and outlooks that you can come to identify with. The reason being during our childhood year’s one is usually rejected and abandoned and unless these experiences have been processed, they will lay dormant and have the potential to be triggered at any moment by the relationships this 1 has with others.
And if ones relationship with themselves is more or less nonexistent there will naturally be an over reliance and requirement for another. This will then lead to valuing another person several values themselves. Compromising ones needs and wants for another person.
Here ones loses who they are in the other person or people and only knows who they are on the basis of the acceptance that arises from these external relationships. Ones emotional and mental state will completely be determined by other people’s behaviour.
In regards to getting touching ourselves and in tune with who we are; it is not at all times easy. And that is often due to the ideas we’ve picked up from others. These ideas have then formed our perceptions of who we are.
This becomes our conditioned self or ego mind and creates our identity. However, what’s true and what’s real for people may not need anything related to this conditioning. The only real person that will say who we are – is ourselves.
So perhaps the only reason we’ve neglected or rejected ourselves is due to the ideas we’ve about who we are. And these ideas have probably got very little related to who we actually are.
Connection to our true selves is unlikely to occur overnight. And the reason being like a tree or a place that is a seed; it will take time to open and expand onto the environment.
It can be normal for you to feel unsafe and vulnerable during early stages of reforming this relationship. And the reason being the ego mind has created an identity and formed an association of what’s safe based on how things were. So as you changes their link with themselves; their identity and therefore their behaviour will change.
This then gets the potential to create conflict and resistance not only within, but additionally from without.
Being There For Ourselves
We will then begin to guide ourselves from within. Throughout the moments where we feel neglected or rejected externally; we can be sure that we are there for ourselves of these moments internally.
Our own capacity to mentally and emotionally regulate and sooth ourselves will also increase. And because our personal self appreciation and self respect has increased for who we are, we may also be able to require help once we require it.
Relationships With Others
What will also occur are deeper and more meaningful relationships with others. As I mentioned previously about our relationship with others always reflecting the connection we’ve with ourselves; it is an all-natural consequence that the relationships we’ve with others will change as we change.
As are self integrity increases we will attract others who’ve integrity and by accepting who we are; it will allow others to gravitate to us who accept us. The relationships inside our life that don’t honour who we are will also begin to alter and perhaps even come to an end.